she_is_not_here: (waste of time)
( Jun. 26th, 2009 08:25 am)
I am making plans to leave my husband.

I've never been so scared. Or felt more alive.
she_is_not_here: (Default)
( Jun. 20th, 2009 08:42 pm)
I was 19 when we met. I thought you were the world.




Counting my calories so I can get drunk. This is a sickness.



Leave me alone. I loved you once, but I can't do this now.
she_is_not_here: (human betrayal)
( May. 30th, 2009 05:17 pm)
It was all just a misunderstanding, and he is single.


I, on the other hand, am not and I need to quit this shit before I do something dumb.
she_is_not_here: (Default)
( May. 29th, 2009 04:06 pm)
If he'll do this WITH you, he'll do it TO you.

This is not healthy. This is not ok.

He is not your knight in shining armor come in on a white horse to rescue you from your bad marriage, he just happened to come back into your life at a difficult time.

Yes, it is OK to love him. Yes, it is OK to be loved. But this... THIS is not healthy.
she_is_not_here: (Default)
( May. 27th, 2009 08:43 am)
What DW communities are you following?
she_is_not_here: (Default)
( May. 25th, 2009 02:12 pm)
I have a headache and I am so very tired. I think I'll make some coffee in a bit.

I seriously need to learn to crochet. I never learned because I thought it was too hard, and always thought knitting was prettier (sorry!) so I just stuck with that. But I saw something that was super awesome and would make a great gift for my BFF for her bday, but I need to learn to crochet to make it.

I learned to knit from a kids' book I found at the 99 cent store, and then once I got the hang of it, I just started buying pattern books, or looking up patterns online and just doing it, learning as I went. I've tried books, I've tried youtube, I've tried having someone show me... I just cannot get the hang of crochet. Help?

OK I really do need coffee right now...
she_is_not_here: (falling in love)
( May. 22nd, 2009 11:32 pm)
I know you love me.

You know I love you.

Isn't knowing enough? I really can't, nor do I want to, act on such old feelings. You are not pulling me closer, you are pushing me away.
she_is_not_here: (waste of time)
( May. 21st, 2009 11:26 pm)
I feel like I've let a lot of important people in my life go, while holding on to some really shitty ones.
she_is_not_here: (Default)
( May. 16th, 2009 09:54 pm)
I have a huge, beautiful 5 year journal that I'd love to write in every day for the whole 5 years...

But I can't even remember to update my DW every day. :/
she_is_not_here: (Default)
( May. 13th, 2009 08:22 am)
I've always said that I have absolutely no regrets in life.




Well... not I have one. One very big one.
she_is_not_here: (human betrayal)
( May. 11th, 2009 03:36 pm)
This time of year is always hard for me. I never fell out of love with him, which probably isn't fair to him, me, or my husband.
she_is_not_here: (waste of time)
( May. 7th, 2009 05:55 pm)
Sometimes life does not go according to plan.

In fact, sometimes life goes so far off the path we hoped for, that we'd have never been able to imagine (even in our darkest nightmares) how horrible life could be for us.

So what do we do when that happens?
.